Vice President Henry Lanier. V.P. Henry Lanier. V.P. Lanier. I had to repeat it multiple times before it could sink in. I was the new Vice President of J.D. Owens National Banking Association. After all those extra hours, all those nights coming home late, all that hard work, I finally had something to show for it. My Marie is going to be so proud!

I just sat there at my desk, thinking V.P. Lanier, when suddenly the big boss of my company, Charles Stillmore, came over to congratulate me.

“Mr. Lanier, you know we all think highly of you at the bank, and that’s why we gave you the promotion. When the clock hits 5:00, you’re officially on a one-week paid vacation as a gift to you for all you’ve done for us.”

This news made me ecstatic. Now I could not only show Marie what all those extra hours got me, but I could also spend more time with her!

“Thank you! Thank you, Mr. Stillmore; I greatly appreciate what you and the bank have done for me!”

“Oh please, Mr. Lanier, thank yourself, you deserve it after all those long work days! Soon you will be on vacation! Speak of the devil; look at the time! It’s five! You’re officially on paid vacation now. I’ll see you in a week, Henry; I have to go now, duty calls.”

“Take care, Mr. Stillmore, and thank you again!”

I gathered my belongings and left the J.D. Owens office building with a great sense of freedom. The first thing that struck me when I stepped outside was that the sun was still out. I haven’t seen the sun for months. I had spent the time between sunrise and sunset trapped in the confines of my office. However, the pleasure the sun gave me became quickly overshadowed by the now unfamiliar scene of congested city streets full of people moving with haste to get home. I was pushed and shoved about entering the subway, and once my train arrived, there were no seats! Ah, the disadvantages of leaving work so early! But it didn’t upset me one bit. I was in too good a mood.

By the third stop, I decided I would buy something for Marie to celebrate. She’d been so understanding lately. We went through some tough times over the last few years. She complained about my late hours and neglecting her, which was true, but ever since our Anniversary, August 24, she had been the most caring and sympathetic wife in the world. I looked through my newspaper for ideas on what to get her. On page six, there was an article on the Lotto Drawings. The prize was two billion dollars and was unclaimed. Those winning numbers would sure make a lovely present, but you have to have somebody up there smiling down on you for something like that to happen. Oh well. I still had a good deal of money and was determined to give Marie a great present. I browsed quickly through the pages until my stop came. I stuffed my paper in my briefcase and pushed and shoved my way off the train. I looked through jewelry stores, travel agencies, and all sorts of odd shops when suddenly, a shady man motioned me over to where he was from the entrance of a store. I slowly walked to him with great suspicion. He then spoke to me as a shady drug dealer would.

“Hey, mister, if you’re looking for a great buy, check me out. I’ve got whatever it is you’re looking for.”

“Is that so? What can you have that’s worth my while, mister?”

“Mister Robert S. Grimly, sir, and if you would be kind enough to enter my shop, I would gladly demonstrate my products.”

I looked at the store’s name, The Crossroad Emporium, and the shop. It was rather dull and mundane, unlike Grimly, who was pale and dressed in a white suit and an absurd top hat. So I figured what the hell and followed Grimly into the shop.

The front of the shop was very plain and ordinary. The shop did, however, continue. There were two doors, a red one marked “Employees Only” and a green one marked “No Admittance Unless Accompanied by an Employee.”

He opened the green door, entered it, and motioned for me to follow him into the adjacent room. As I entered, my eyes went wild with amazement. The room was immense, containing many levels that seemed to go downward forever! We then entered an elevator and went to sublevel six. After being silent for a moment, Grimly began, “So, do you have anything particular in mind?”

I responded, “Well, not really. See, I’m looking for a gift for Marie, my wife, you know. I’ve neglected her for a while and want to make up for all that lost time between us. So what do you got here?”

“Exactly what you need. Follow me.”

I followed Grimly across the room. We passed dozens of computer terminals, keyboards, speakers, and other miscellaneous tech on the way to the main destination. We went farther, and there was a scientific lab. There were at least a dozen mainframe systems hooked up to monitors, printers, and other high-tech machines, all of which were foreign to me. It was as if they were from the future. The lab had numerous colorful, vibrant solutions and test tubes, which I knew little about. I never did like Chemistry.

Grimly stopped by the lab, adjusted his top hat, and said, “If I said that I could give you something that would allow you to spend all of your time with your wife, how would you feel?”

“That’s absurd! I have a demanding job that takes up most of my time, leaving little time to spend with my wife. The only way I could spend all of my time with her is if I quit work! You’re full of BS; you know that just as much as I do! This “demonstration” of yours was a waste of my time!”

“Well, why not stop working, except you’ll continue to be paid your regular salary!”

“As I said, you’re wasting my time. I’m not in the mood for one of these stupid sales pitches. Goodbye.”

“Please wait. Here is a hundred dollar bill which I will allow you to keep if you remain for my demonstration.”

I took the hundred dollar bill and figured that if he was willing to offer me money, he either had something worthwhile to show me or must be a nutcase. I suddenly became a little more patient now that I was a hundred dollars richer.

“You see, sir, I have a product that was engineered by the world’s elite forces. It is more intricate and advanced than any other item you have encountered during your lifetime. It is the process of clone automation. With a simple blood sample and some personal information, I can generate an organism that looks, reacts, thinks, and behaves exactly as you do.”

I looked with pity at Grimly. He was obviously a lunatic. A lunatic that had just become a hundred dollars poorer. I looked into his eyes. I could see that he really believed in what he was saying.

“I’m sorry, it’s getting pretty late. I can’t stay for your demonstration. Here’s your hundred-dollar bill back. I’ll just take the elevator down the hall and find my way out. Thanks though. Bye.”

Grimly’s expression suddenly changed. He looked as if my leaving would affect him for the rest of his life. He seemed desperate to keep me in his shop, Almost as if it was a matter of life or death.

“You can’t leave! I don’t want the hundred dollars. I want you!”

Suddenly a great fear overcame me, and I sensed that he was out to kill me. I ran down the room and right into a table. A phonebook on the table slid to the floor and opened at my feet. The book opened to the section which contained the names Lanier to Lawrence. That was it! He was a phonebook killer! I picked up the book, threw it at Grimly, and ran to the elevator shaft with all my might. Out of breath and panicked, I hit the button and waited for the doors to open. Grimly ran towards me, then stopped by a table near the shaft.

“You misjudge me, sir. I am just looking to show off my product. Calm down. There’s nothing to fear.”

He then opened a briefcase on the table containing at least a dozen knives. My heart thumped rapidly, sweat covered my body, as my back remained glued to the door, hoping that the elevator would arrive and the doors would open. He reached for the largest knife out of the bunch, which was about ten inches long and full of blood stains. He began to polish off the blade, placed it down again, and grabbed a small razor.

“I will need a small sample of your blood for my demonstration. Don’t look so worried; it doesn’t hurt that much. It’s just like taking a blood test.”

“You murderer! Help! Help!”

“Calm down, sir. You must be drinking too much red-bull. Would you like to sit down and relax with a glass of warm milk?”

“Are you crazy or insane? I’m a full-grown man being asked by his murderer if he wants a glass of warm milk. Do I look like a baby to you? What kind of nut are you? Oh, and I’m more of a Monster guy than a red-bull guy, thank you very much.”

“I assure you, sir, I am perfectly sane. But about what kind of nut I am, my dad was an almond, and my mom was a walnut; I guess that makes me a mutt nut. But seriously, sir, I’m offended. Here I am, trying to do everything in the world to make you feel at home, and you call me a nut? Come on. Maybe if I show you some samples of clone automation at work, that’ll change your mind. Excuse me for a minute.”

The doors weren’t opening. Grimly must have shut down the elevator earlier when we first entered the room. I was trapped between him and the shut elevator doors. Maybe if I could run by him, there would be another exit. I took some time to build up the nerve. As soon as I built up my nerve to make a run for it, he put down the phone and looked again at me.

“I just called for some clone samples to be sent in. In the meantime, here is a razor and a test tube. Since you seem to distrust me, do it yourself. Look, I’m closing the briefcase and putting it away.”

With a razor in hand and his back turned to me, I leaped at him and slashed away. He turned around quickly, already bleeding in several places, and overpowered me, grabbing my wrist of the hand holding the razor.

“Sir, you are the lunatic! What are you trying to do? Kill me or give me a trim? If it’s the trim, it better be free of charge!

I ran around the room, but there were no exits. My heart was practically beating out of my chest. Entirely out of desperation, I tried calling the elevator again as Grimly stood quietly, watching me. Then, with my back to the shaft and my eyes glued on Grimly, I heard the sound I so much wanted to hear: the elevator doors opening. I turned around with haste facing the opening doors, and to my surprise, inside were a dozen men, all of whom looked exactly identical to one another, as if they were clones.

“Ah! My samples are here!”

I took a second glance at the dozen identical men. They all were about six feet tall, had moderate builds, brown hair and eyes, and looked like well-distinguished men. One approached me and said, “Pleased to meet you, sir. I am Max, sixth clone of the twelve-clone family Project AutoClone or PAC for short. I am a prototype of the clone of the future, which is available to you today.”

I looked with shock and amazement. He seemed so lifelike and real, yet eleven just like him were standing by his side! My jaw was on the floor.

“As you can see, Mr. Lanier, the automated clone industry is not a farce. You may speak to and observe the clone prototypes as you wish. Just don’t go mutilating them like you tried to do with me. I’ll be back in a few minutes. I’ve got to get some first aid for my cuts.”

“Okay. I’m very sorry, Mr. Grimly…I…I mistook you…”

“No need to apologize. I understand how you must feel. Be back in a snap.”

I now turned my attention to Max and the other clones. After admiring the futuristic technology in front of me for a while, I asked the clone, Max, some questions.

“Hello, Max. Can you tell me more about yourself?”

“Sure, I’d be delighted. I am a prototype clone molded in the image of my creator, David I. Oswald. Everyone called him Dio for short. At the moment, He is no longer with us here on earth, but his presence lives on in me and the other clones of our family. Together with Mr. Grimly, we are able to fulfill Dio’s dream of clone automation. All of his memory is preserved on file and can be accessed instantaneously by any of his clones. We call this Computer Aided Thought, or C.A.T. for short. It is perhaps the most significant technological breakthrough since man learned how to fly. Actually, scratch that. C.A.T. is the most significant technological breakthrough ever.”

“Fascinating! Can you explain how it works?”

“I will allow Mr. Grimly to do that. Rather, I would switch roles here and ask you some questions instead, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure. I am interested in what you want to ask me.”

“You see, sir, unlike some of my newer brothers, my C.A.T. system is more primitive. My mind is not subject to complete controlled thought. Rather, I have free will and thought unless someone is monitoring me. Then my C.A.T. system is activated, and I am no longer human; I become an automated, self-regulating organism of cells with computer chips and motherboards in place of a brain. I am the only clone of this sort. The ones made before me are practically robots, while the ones after me are the perfect balance between man and machine. I am neither an android nor a mix between man and machine, but rather a Jeckyl and Hyde who is human sometimes and automated at others. Because of this, I feel out of place. I feel that I should be a part of society and be able to leave this shop and live as you do. But Mr. Grimly won’t let me. I know Dio did not want this to happen. I was a mistake. But I also know that he would want me to be free. I am Dio and I am Max. I am the prisoner of my own invention. I am half a man and half an android. More so, I am nothing. It is because of this that I ask, how does it feel to be free, to be a whole person and not just half a man?

“I don’t really know how to answer that question. I guess I never will, for I always was me, a whole person, and always will be.”

“You speak strong words for a human who obviously doesn’t understand the significance of what I’ve said. I may be only a clone, but I can teach you more about humanity than any mortal.”

“How so?”

Was my life going to change here? Was I about to learn the secrets of humankind? Would this change everything that has happened in all of history? I anticipated the knowledge that I was about to hear and consume, and lucky me, Mr. Grimly was not present to interrupt. But I jinxed myself, spoke too soon. Because as soon as I thought these very thoughts, Mr. Grimly re-entered the room.

“Hello, again! I see you have been speaking with the clones.”

“Yes, this is amazing, Mr. Grimly! I was just having a rather interesting discussion with Max…”

“Oh, yes. I know. Max, please return to your station.”

Suddenly, Max’s expression changed. He still looked as human as ever, but now he seemed different. He just calmly walked away.

“Max is not a good example of clone engineering. He has all sorts of bugs. So don’t pay any attention to whatever he was telling you. He’s the crazy one of the dozen.”

Did he not want me to know an important secret? I was once again skeptical of Grimly. I was back at phase one. What if I died when I made my clone? What if I became the clone and was used for forced labor in a sweatshop? I had so many what-ifs that I gave myself a migraine. I needed some ibuprofen. I decided to stay calm and heed Mr. Grimly’s words.

“Now let me explain a little more about my product. First, there are the blood cells, which contain your physical makeup and personality. We then take this information to our lab for numerous tests. The results of these tests are fed into our computer mainframes, giving us the pertinent information needed in order to create your clone. The blood cells are then genetically spliced and used in the Vitro Fertilization Process. Here, using the computer as an aid, identical DNA patterns to the ones you have formed. Naturally, artificial insemination occurs,  thus creating a replica fertilized egg of yourself. We then feed the clone all the factual information pertinent to a human as well as all the factual knowledge recorded in your particular field via the computer. This process is done while it is still in embryo form. We will feed it all the resources made available. Your clone will have access to our mainframe computer systems which contain all the written documentation from the Bible to today’s newspaper. Think of it as Google in your brain. As the internet expands daily, so does your clone’s knowledge. This is where the automation comes in. The process is called C.A.T. or Computer Aided Thought. The clone is part flesh, part robotic. He appears human, yet he has no mind, rather a device that instantaneously interprets data which is installed at birth in its place. It sends necessary questions to our computer and responds within the same time as a normal human. They are also good listeners. Whatever they hear becomes part of their unlimited memory bank and can be recalled whenever necessary. There is one drawback, however. They may behave like humans, look like humans, know more than humans, and possess that particular human’s personality, yet they lack knowledge of any personal experience. They do not know, for instance, what you ate last week for dinner or what gifts you received last Christmas. This is the information you must convey to me. In your case, everything is not necessary since your clone will be restricted to business actions. I need only the basics and one or two important events of your life. The last and final phase is the aging process, which simply ages the clone to the age you wish.”

Once the clone is complete, you’ll be able to stay at home with your wife while your clone goes to work for you. Replacing you with every bit of splendor you now possess. I will shelter the clone and provide for him here at the shop, ensuring he keeps out of your life outside work. Think of it as a lifelong paid vacation! Well, that concludes my demonstration. You may leave now if you wish.”

I went into deep thought about it for a couple of minutes. How would I explain this to Marie? Would she get mad? Would I lose my sanity because I’m not working anymore? What if I go to a mall with Marie while my clone is working, and someone sees me? Will they accuse me of being an imposter and kill me? Millions of questions raced through my mind. I concluded with one thought. The only reason I’m here in the first place is because I thought, what the hell, let’s see what this guy’s got. So you know, today I’m just in the “what the hell” mood, so, what the hell.

“I’m interested. How much do you want?”

“Simply one hundred thousand dollars now and thirty percent of your monthly income for as long as you enjoy our services. Above all, I guarantee satisfaction. Would you agree that’s a fair price?

“That is a fair price indeed. What if I want to go to work again, you know? Change my mind about this clone thing? Wouldn’t my clone get in my way? Is there a way to terminate it, Mr. Grimly?”

“Good question, sir. If you wish to terminate your clone, simply come to the shop, and I will do so with pleasure. It gives me a chance to use my really big knives!”

“Huh?”

“Just making a joke, sir.”

“I guess I was acting a bit uptight. You have a deal. Go ahead, take a sample of my blood. You have earned my respect and trust. By the way, I could use some of that warm milk you offered me earlier; it could be nice to relax and have some. Maybe warm milk is the way to go…”

It was now nine o’clock, and my clone was finished. I spoke with him for over an hour and was convinced I was talking to the mirror. He was a perfect replica and much more intelligent than I could ever imagine. However, I did leave some important aspects of my personal life from Grimly, for I did not want the clone to be too perfect. In one scenario, Grimly asked me what my Wedding Song was, but I refused to tell him.

I wrote Grimly a check for one hundred thousand dollars and left the shop with a new sense of freedom. One far greater than when I stepped out of my office building earlier this morning. I wouldn’t have just a one-week vacation, but one for life! I loved my job, but I now finally understood that I loved Marie far more than anything in the world. What a perfect gift! One that would allow me to spend all my time with my Marie. I went to a store and bought a bottle of Prosecco champagne, roses, and a box of chocolates, the same things that I gave to Marie on the night I proposed to her while the song “Perfect” was playing on the speakers. That became our Wedding Song and our night.

I was now anxious to get home. I had so many good things to tell Marie. I was filled with a spirit of energy. I walked to my bus stop shortly after my bus arrived. It was now eleven o’clock, the time I usually took the bus home late. Needless to say, this time, I found a seat.